Verbal Diaspora

Introduction

"In the nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would, but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground nuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground).

Needless to say the mandarin who thought that one up deserves to be shot! However, that’s one complicated extreme!

There is another !

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Mr. Toastmaster, I have spoken before about the use and abuse of the English Language and I’ve decided to pursue this theme in an effort to persuade you all to use it well.

Before anyone assembled here gets annoyed at the thought of these assembled wordsmiths not being committed exactly to that goal, let me say that there are those amongst us who cause me grave concern in this regard.

This time last year, when I was a fledgling Toastmaster, I was appalled when during a Topics Session, several senior members of this club argued strongly for the use of SIMPLE English.

- I didn’t sleep too well that night.

THIS is the other extreme - excessive simplicity!

- - - - - but I’ll return to that later.

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Catch phrases and clichés clog the language, like so much verbal cholesterol.

Think about how we talk of people - we say he’s

Dull But that has nothing to do with his colour or tone.

Brilliant Nothing to do with luminosity, but means he’s

Clever, witty, urbane, OR, COOL, yet

Cool Has nothing to do with his temperature, but -

means he’s HOT stuff

Phil Lynott - "when I say she was cool, I mean she was RED HOT!"

Which means she was !!!!!!!!

Chased but unchaste

Hip Which has nothing to do with the anatomy, but

Is "With it", which usually means -

That you are against it.

Sound Nothing to do with acoustics, but means he is Kosher

But, he’s not Jewish!

Square Nothing to do with his shape or his personal geometry, but means

He’s Unsound

Unhip

Uncool

Well, the abuse of the language continues, let me give you another example:-

Every time I open a paper or listen to the news I hear someone talking about Diaspora - most of the time, entirely out of context.

THE Diaspora - like The Spanish Civil War - is a specific historic event. It refers to the exile of the Jewish people from Jerusalem in the 6^th. Century BC to Babylonia. I saw one reference to the Emperor Hadrian - I doubt if he was around at the time - if he was, he could only have been an apprentice bricklayer.

It subsequently came to mean the dispersion of an originally tightly-knit or homogeneous people.

Robert O’Byrne, who should know better, writes in the Irish Times in May about - "The Fashion Diaspora" talking of Irish designers who have emigrated. Hardly a serious homogeneous group. In fact, the only thing tight-knit about that bunch are their sweaters!

Consider the true story of the Cork TD - a constituent arrives at his "clinic" -

"What ya’want boy"

"I has dis woeful headache, has ya any advise"

"Course I has - take DeAspro"

"Will it cure me"

"Sure it will - didn’t Mary Robinson have some terrible headaches when she went to de park, and didn’t it cure her"

"O Right so, I will"

In other words most parish-pump politicians wouldn’t know a Diaspora, if it bit them on the ass!

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We have been given the gift of a language - a language that,

can titillate and tantalise,

it can delight, excite, incite,

entice, embellish,

entertain, enthral,

enhance, and enchant

it can enthuse and enrapture.

A language that has levels of nuance and subtlety that are rarely explored in full. A language that can caress the senses.

Consider how excellent writers have used it to evoke the senses -

Consider Gerard Manley Hopkins lying back on a bright spring day looking at the sky:-

Cloud-puffball, torn tufts,

tossed pillows flaunt forth,

then chevy on the air-built thoroughfare.

Take John Millington Synge after his landlord’s sister had him thrown out for rejecting her advances:-

Lord confound this surly sister, blight her brow with blotch and blister.

Listen to John Keats on Autumn

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,

Close bosom friend to the maturing sun,

Clearly we are not poets and clearly we could not aspire to that standard.

However, we have chosen public speaking as a hobby and we must, therefore,

Consider how WE might use English well!

We’ll let Ben Johnson have the last word:-

"Language most shows a man

speak that I may see thee"

Consider how YOU might use it well -

Consider how WE might see thee!