Spinning-Frame machines, Beetroots and Bicycles.

Sometimes Politicians say silly things. Sometimes they say very sensible things and, occasionally they have some very good ideas!

For example, I read recently about an adjournment debate in the Dáil where Mr. John Gormley of the Green Party said, "I am not a Luddite". - "I am not a Luddite", he said.

Janey Mack!! I thought, what’s that??

So I had to investigate.

It all started 1769 when an English inventor named Richard Arkwright patented a spinning-frame to produce cotton thread. This was the first of many inventions around that period, all of which mechanised jobs that were previously done by hand.

Factories were looking to increase production and lower costs. And so the factory owners introduced this and similar machinery which would reduce both the labour content and reduce the cost of production.

Now, during the late 1700’s and early 1800’s unemployment was very high and wages were very low in England, particularly in the Shires.

On top of this there was inflation. Wheat prices soared and the price of a loaf of bread went through the roof.

The lot of the average worker was not a happy one! People became desperate!

Desperate men do desperate deeds!

And so, a movement grew out of this dissent, and bands of labourers rioted in many industrial areas of England and destroyed the textile machinery, which they believed was causing the high unemployment and was keeping wages low.

One of the men leading this activity was a guy called Ned Ludd, and so the entire movement became known as The Luddites.

Now going back to Mr. Gormley, we find that he wasn’t speaking about unemployment in the clothing sector.

Nor, was he making a comment about the Pretty Polly factory. There was no mention at all of a new, revolutionary, machine which would render hundreds of clothing workers redundant.

Instead – he was talking about Beetroot.

He was protesting about the possible introduction of genetically-engineer sugar beet.

One of the things that the Greens have been warning us about for years, is our excessive use of natural resources, - and of their finite nature.

They have, quite rightly, been warning us of the consequences of wasting our resources.

I now have absolute proof of the accuracy of their forecasts.

I must warn you not to go to Kinsale for your holidays. Indeed, if you have friends who live there, you must get them to sell up and ship out!

Why?

Do you remember as a child being told not to pick your nose!

In fact, we used to have a joke – "did you hear about the boy who wouldn’t stop picking his nose?

– His head caved in!

If we continue to remove material – minerals, coal, oils, gases – we are left with a hollow. Thousands upon thousands of tonnes of material is removed EVERY day all around the world.

Some people say that the hollow is filled by sea water!

If that is so – why are the oceans rising??

I have no doubt that this is what causes earthquakes and tidal waves – the hollow must be filled and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum!

The reason for issuing my warning at this time is that I’ve just heard the dramatic news that Mexico City is sinking!

– at a rate of 45cms per year.

In fact it has sunk by 10 METRES over the last 70 years.

This is caused by 20 million people using up the ground water. I suppose, as well, that the weight of 20 million people might have a bearing on it.

Back home again, think about the amount of natural gas that we are taking out of Kinsale every year.

the sheer volume of it,

and the hollow it must leave behind.

Oh, it’s easy to scorn – but just wait and see if I’m right!!

I, most definitely, won’t be going to Kinsale for my holidays!

Now, last year the Greens had another excellent idea – which, by the way, most of the citizens of Dublin scoffed at.

Do you remember when they introduced the bicycles.

They bought a number of bikes, painted them white and left them in the city for people to use, without charge!

The idea was to try and encourage people to leave their cars at home and to use two-wheeled transport instead.

It would reduce traffic congestion; it would reduce air pollution, it would encourage fitness, it would make people more aware of their city. In fact, it the idea had a lot going for it.

You could borrow a bike, use it and return it at no cost.

The downside - It was envisaged that if enough people took up the bike, the Corpo would be forced to build more cycle-paths to accommodate them.

Now, you could argue that there are more than enough Psychopaths in Dublin already without adding more! But, Sin scéal eila

There were two other major benefits.

Every Guinness drinker will tell you that a pint in Dublin is more agreeable, has an enhanced, distinctive flavour and a superior viscosity, than a pint anywhere else in the world.

What a lot of them don’t know, is that Guinness draw the water for making pints from the canal, just above the third lock bridge in Inchicore.

And the reason why it has a unique flavour, the reason why it has a better consistency, is all the dead dogs and the rusty bikes which enhance the natural zest of the canal water.

Thus, the Green initiative has made a very real contribution to the uniqueness of a Dublin pint of Guinness.

The other aspect of the Green’s bicycle campaign which must be acknowledged, is how subliminally apt it was.

Let me explain what I mean.

Let’s say that you, Mr. Toastmaster, went to town. You borrow one of these bicycles and you cycle from A to B.

You transact your business.

How are you going to get back to A??

YOU HAVE TO RE-CYCLE, of course.

There, in one fell, swoop the Greens have got their fundamental message across.

We MUST re-cycle.

I rest my case?